Lack of Sex in a Relationship – Causes and Solutions

Marriage Counselling

Having an intimate and satisfying sex life is an important part of a loving relationship for couples. But why does a couple’s sex life fizzle out? How much sex is enough sex? How often should a couple be intimate in a close and loving partnership? Does it matter? What are some of the main reasons and the consequences of lack of sex in a relationship?

People differ in the degree of sexual desire they experience. There is no set standard, and sexual desire differs not only from person to person but also within the same person over their lifespan. Sexual desire can be low for a variety of reasons. Sometimes you’re overstressed and tired, you might be in the middle of raising your family, you may be dissatisfied with your partner, you might be entering perimenopause, or there may be physical or medical reasons why your sexual desire is low.

It’s important to understand that a reduced sex drive isn’t an inevitable part of aging. Though a reduced sex drive is something many men and women do experience as they get older.

Lack of Sex in a Relationship – What Causes it? 

Relationship problems can be the main reason why you and your partner lack intimacy. The lack of sex or very little sex can be the result of:

  • A poor emotional connection between you and your partner
  • Being in a long-term relationship and becoming overfamiliar with your partner
  • Loss of sexual attraction
  • Unresolved conflict and frequent arguments
  • Poor communication
  • Difficulty trusting each other
  • Physical sexual problems

Lack of Sex in a Relationship – Solutions – What Can You Do?

It’s important for you to be honest with yourself and your partner about your relationship. How much time and energy are you putting into your relationship? What is getting in the way of spending quality time with each other? Yes, you can’t forget or ignore your children but are you making time for each other that does not involve your children or talking about your children? Do you schedule dates and times for just the two of you?

Sometimes at different times in a relationship sex disappears due to health conditions, aging, an increase in caregiving responsibilities, or other factors that can’t necessarily be solved. Even if you cannot have full on sex, couples can enjoy different forms of physical intimacy and sexual touch that pleasurable and still maintain connectedness.

If you’re unhappy with the lack of intimacy in your marriage, talk with your and see if your partner is willing to work with you to improve the situation.

If you’re not happy with your sexual relationship and it’s too difficult to discuss on your own, see one of our therapists at Family-Therapy to talk about your relationship and your hopes and dreams. Reach out to us today to get help dealing with the lack of sex in your relationship. You can also book an appointment online.