Parenting doesn’t get any easier after divorce or separation. Continually fighting in front of your children or through your children causes them long term mental and physical health problems. It’s hard to believe if you had a difficult marriage or relationship with poor communication and problem solving skills, parenting between the two of you is not going to improve when you start living separate lives.
Parenting after divorce – how does it work?
For many parents the discord of their marital life continues separation or divorce. It’s difficult for many ex couples to but their own personal anger, hurt or disappointment on the back burner when it comes to dealing with their ex. There may just be too many things, disagreements, and losses between the two of you for you to be able to be civil to each other right now. It’s normal to have some tense conversations. And now you need to put your children’s emotional well being first. As a parent you need to learn how to move out of your personal relationship with your EX and into a parenting relationship void of your negative personal emotions for each other. This of course will take time and practice.
This is a great article regarding co-parenting after separation or divorce. I would add on to the list that if after 6 months of separation if you are still unable to communicate civilly with your EX, you are reduced to tears, are still feeling physically sick or fearful before or after speaking with your EX then it might be time to seek individual counselling for yourself.
If you are not able to put your anger and disappointment aside seek individual counselling for yourself. No one deserves to live in anger. And no one deserved to be poisoned by their parents’ resentment and anger for each other.
Parenting after divorce
Here are 8 quick tips to help smooth the way for successful co-parenting after separation or divorce.
1. Try to think of your ex as a business partner.
2. Keep track of expenses.
3. If you can’t bear to talk to your ex face to face, find other ways to communicate.
4. Be flexible with the kids’ time.
5. Keep your kids’ teachers informed.
6. Make sure your kids have all the essentials they need at both houses.
7. Seek individual therapy to help cope with your anger, disappointment or loss.
8. Keep repeating to yourself “Focus on the children’s needs. What is best for these kids.” And follow through with only discussing your children’s needs with your Ex.