narcissists parent, narcissists parents, narcissists, lonely , unconditional love,

Do you know a Narcissistic Person?

 
Narcissists have an inflated sense of their own importance, as well as a deep need for excessive attention and admiration. Their personality leads to troubled relationships with family, friends, and coworkers since they lack empathy for others. They face problems in many areas of lives, their relationships, at work, at school, at home, with their adult children or financial affairs. Narcissists find their relationships with other people unfulfilling as they  want the focus to be on them, their accomplishments and their interests. Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self worth and believe they are better are superior to those around them.  They don’t share the limelight well with others.
 
But behind their mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem. They have trouble accepting or hearing anything that sounds like criticism.  Narcissists respond to the slightest hint of criticism by becoming defensive and then by being aggressive, cold and detached. if you challenge the Narcissists, you may be subject to their rage and threats.

 

Symptoms Of Narcissistic Behaviours

– Believing that he or she is better to other people
 
– Having a very high sense of self-importance
 
– Belittling other people and their opinions
 
– Not having the ability to listen and care about other peoples’ feelings and needs or point of view
 
– All discussions or arguments centre around how she or he feels or experiences the world
 
If you are dealing with a Narcissistic person be it your boss, parent or partner it’s important for you to set some healthy boundaries for yourself.
 
Narcissists may not be able to listen or acknowledge your feelings and worries. It is possible the narcissist person will  get angry and defensive and blame you when you create boundaries to protect yourself and not allow yourself to get caught up in their drama. It is also important for you to realize the narcissist person is really unaware of her or his behaviour and will have a great amount of difficulty in being self reflective.
 

Being raised by narcissists parents

Children with narcissists parent(s) are often told ” not to tell others about problems within their family” and to keep secrets even the detriment of the child’s or family’s well-being. Being raised by narcissists parent(s) leads children to experiencing conditional love.  And the feeling that they are never good enough smart enough or talented enough for their “gifted and talented”  parent.  As a child, children raised by narcissists parent(s)  need to behave perfectly in oder to not upset the narcissists parent(s). If the child did not agree at all times with the parent, then love  and affection would be withheld. Other times , each child within the family may be assigned the role of “scapegoat or black sheep” or the “golden child” who was cherished as long as they did what he or she was told. 
As  adults, children raised by narcissists parent(s) are hypersensitive and overly attuned to the emotions of others. They may be very insecure and fear abandonment by those who truly love them. They can be unsure of themselves and spend too much time overthinking and worrying what other people think. They constantly fear they are not good enough and can never be good enough to be loved not just by their narcissists parent(s) but by anyone.
If you were raised by narcissists parent(s) it’s important for you to realize he or she may never change. Holding out for the unconditional love you craved as a child is probably never going to happen. And it is understandable that you may have undying or unwavering hope that your parent may some day finally see you as the wonderful person you are. Unfortunately that is not likely to happen. It is important that you learn to create healthy boundaries for yourself and for your own children if you are still in contact with your narcissists parent(s).  Another important tasks for you to explore is learning about, discovering your emotions, and acknowledging your emotions. Too often your emotional needs were discounted, ignored, and likely invalidated and denied. Take the time to speak with a trained therapist on how to recognize and validate your emotions. 
If you think you might be in a narcissistic relationship reach out to one of our 8 therapists today to start the conversation.
 
http://family-therapy.ca
 
We’re here to listen.