Infidelity takes many forms from casually talking and flirting to living a secret life together. Infidelity destroys relationships, marriages, and families. It breaks the trust between you and your partner or your spouse. It leaves a gapping hole in your relationship. Infidelity can be something as simple as keeping secrets from your spouse or important information. Affairs often begin innocently as a natural close connection you share with someone at work or in social group. An affair starts when you cross the boundaries between friendship and intimacy.
Affair Proof your Relationship
Can you affair proof your relationship? What are steps you can take to minimize infidelity in your relationship? Many couples are unaware they need to work at strengthening their relationships. Good loving caring partners can unfortunately make bad choices. There are steps both of you can take to affair proof your relationship.
Quality time with each Other
It’s important to regularly spend private time together as a couple. Too often we spend time as a couple with other couples, family members, friends, or children. While socializing with other couples who support and model healthy relationships is important, remember spend time alone together. One on one time with each other is vital to nurturing and strengthening our intimate relationship.
Cherish your Partner
Remember to be thoughtful and romantic towards your partner. You don’t need to buy each other lavish presents but lavish affection, compliments and respect. Let your partner know you think she or he is a fantastic partner or a wonderful cook. Compliment your partner on how they are great with the kids. Verbalize your appreciation for your partner. Remind yourself and your partner what you love about them, what attracted you to them and how they make you feel. Verbalize, demonstrate, and initiate your love for each other.
It’s important to talk with your partner and not just about who is paying the gas bill or where is that clean laundry. It’s easy to become distracted from your love for each other with our busy lives, raising kids, going to work and family obligations.
Many times in therapy I hear couples saying, “I’m never told I’m a great parent or a great partner” or “ He or she knows I love him or her”. How do you know you do a good job at work if your boss doesn’t give you feedback? How would you know your car is out of gas if the gas gauge didn’t signal E for empty?
We don’t want our relationship to be on E for empty before we discover we’ve run into some serious problems. Talking to your partner is just that, finding uninterrupted time with your partner and telling him or her about your day, asking how your partner’s day went, discussing something together that involves an emotional connection between the two of you.
Nurture and Care for your Relationship
Too many times we get careless and sloppy about our relationship. After all maybe you’re thinking, “We’re together or we have kids together”. Take the care, love, and respect for yourself and your partner to nurture and care for your relationship. Marriage and commitment is a huge responsibility. Invest in your relationship. Everyday is a new day to enrich and grow your relationship. You can accomplish this by reaching out to your partner with some kinds words, holding their hand or a warm hug. Imagine how wonderful and warm it would be for your partner to receive a supportive email or text message during the day or to hear to a simple “I’m so happy we’re together” greeting in the day.
What’s getting in the way?
If you are hesitant to spend time or invest in your relationship ask yourself what is getting in the way? Find the time to talk to your partner about how you feel about your relationship. Are you concerned your partner is not invested? Do you feel your needs are not being met? Or are you having difficulty letting your partner know what you need from this relationship? When is the last time you sat down with your partner and talked about what are the goals and plans for your relationship and your future together?
Maybe it’s time to get a babysitter, turn off the computer or TV, and spend some face to face time with your partner.
Our goal at Family-Therapy is to help you both make decisions and choices to strengthen and improve your relationship. Together, we can talk and explore about difficult topics or explore your feelings. Talking with a marriage or relationship counsellor allows you to talk abut topics which may be too sensitive to discuss at home. Call us today to learn how our couples therapists can help you and your partner make your relationship affair proof.